Invitations | The Charming Homekeeper

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The Charming Homekeeper knows how to write invitations with proper etiquette for all occasions:

• formal invitations
• informal invitations
• special occasion invitations

I am sharing this from a vintage source.  So, let's learn together.  

First, the two types of invitations are: (1) Formal, which are engraved, printed, or hand-written, and (2) Informal, which are written or spoken via a friendly telephone call.  ​

The Formal Invitation

After the wedding, you can still enjoy lovely, formal occasions, and for this, you must send a formal invitation!  This is a beautifully engraved, printed, or hand-written invitation. 
Here's what to do:

1. Send two weeks in advance, at least, (unless for a wedding) to give guests plenty of time to respond. 
2. Choose engraved or handwritten. Order engraved (or printed) formal invitations from your stationer's or write the formal invitations yourself using monogramed letter writing paper or correspondance cards. 
3. Use the third person and pretty cursive when writing in the following style:

Here's what to write for a Formal Invitation:

Mr. and Mrs. Nevin Eugene Metzler
request the pleasure of your company
at dinner
on Friday, the tenth of March
at eight o'clock
1234 Laurel Street

      4. Adding R.S.V.P. is optional.  You can add "R.S.V.P." (which means reply if you please) or the words "Please respond" or "Please respond at (123) 456-7890" in the lower left hand corner, but this is optional, as the proper etiquette for all invited guests is to respond whether the hostess request it or not.
      5. If given in someone's honor, you can add this to the bottom line of the invitation:

to meet Mr. Andrew Thomson

Accepting a Formal Invitation

If you are the invited guest, send a response at once so the hostess may complete her plans in a timely fassion.  Use pretty cursive and your personalized letter paper or correspondance card:

Mr. and Mrs. Harold Gable
accept with pleasure
Mr. and Mrs. Nevin Metzler's
kind invitation for dinner
on Friday, the tenth of March
at eight o'clock
​to meet Mr. Andrew Thomas

Declining a Formal Invitation

If you can not attend the event, use the same response card, but write:

Mr. and Mrs. Harold Gable
regret exceedingly that they are unable to accept
Mr. and Mrs. Nevin Metzler's
kind invitation for dinner
on Friday, the tenth of March
​to meet Mr. Andrew Thomas
as they have a previous engagement

The Informal Invitation

For informal occasions, use one of three informal invitations: 

• #1 Telephone.  With close friends and family, you can simply telephone invitations (and acceptance can be given at the time or soon after).
• #2 Calling Card.  With close friends and family, you can also write it on your calling card -this has your engraved or printed name (and acceptance can be given on a calling card or notecard).

Write honored guest (at top) and event time (at bottom) on calling card:

Here's what to write for an informal calling card invitation:

To meet Miss Susan Steele

Mr. and Mrs. Nevin Metzler

Wednesday, June eighth, at 4 o'clock

To this, the guest writes a reply on top of calling card or note card:

Accept with pleasure for Wednesday at 4

Mr. and Mrs. Arnold Russel

• #3 Letter Paper.  For informal dinners, the hostess handwrites a note on her favorite letter paper using the following format:

Here's what to write for an informal dinner invitation:

Dear Mrs. Peterson,
     It would give us great pleasure if you and Mr. Peterson would dine with us on Thursday, March the tenth, at seven thirty, to meet my niece Dorothy Case.
     We do hope you can come.
                                                    Sincerely yours,
                                                          Rita Adams

The guest accepts on letter paper:

Dear Mrs. Adams,
     Mr. Peterson and I will be happy to dine with you on Thursday, March the tenth, at seven thirty. 
     We look forward with pleasure to meeting our niece Dorothy Case, and to seeing you and Mr. Adams again.
     Thank you for asking us.
                                                 Sincerely yours,
                                                      Virginia Peterson

or declines stating the reason. . .

Dear Mrs. Adams,
     Mr. Peterson's mother is celebrating her seventieth birthday, and we are going to New Bedford to stay with her for a week.  We cannot, therefore, accept our kind invitation for dinner on Thursday, March the tenth, to meet your niece Dorothy Case
     We thank you and Mr. Adams for having thought of us, and hope that you will ask us soon again.
                                                 Sincerely yours,
                                                      Virginia Peterson

Special Occasion Invitations

It is perfectly acceptable to be creative in wording, color, and style (within the realm of good taste) for special occasion such as:

• baby showers
• birthday parties
• 50th anniversary parties
• other special events

Invitations and Dress

How should one dress for the occasion?  Here's the general rules!

• Formal invitation (evening) - wear formal dress (long)
• Formal invitation (afternoon) - wear formal dress (short) or dress according to the occasion
• Informal invitation (anytime) - wear informal dress (short) but you might telephone the hostess to be sure especially if for dinner*
• Masquerate party - wear costumes

*When sending an informal invitation for dinner, you should specify formal dress or informal dress at the bottom of the invitation or tell them via telephone.

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Helpful Resources

• From Miss to Mrs.
• Your New Name
• Letter Writing
• How to Write a Letter